As I sit here and type this, I have a lump in my throat, blotches all over my torso (clear sign when I am upset and/or in a state of distress…BP skyrockets!), and I am fighting back tears (which I am sure will flow freely once I get into my car and am away from my desk and colleagues). What kind of world do we live in? More importantly, what kind of world did I choose to bring my children into? Who in their right mind decides to go into an elementary school and start killing small children? What waste of human material considers this a justification?! Surely, he wasn't born this way...
I have noticed a pretty steady trend over the last decade or so where kids are far more than just “rebelling” or going through that awkward “It’s all about me” teenage phase. Kids (and by “kids”, I mean anyone up to, and including, twenty years of age) possess this false sense of entitlement. They feel the world owes them and when they inevitably get forced to face the fact that their sh*t does in fact stink just as bad, if not worse, as everyone else’s… they go ballistic. They act out, they talk back to authorities, they make ridiculous demands...they go on killing sprees. When I was growing up, I took great pride in the fact that I was raised to respect my elders, do as I was told, and always follow the rules for if I didn’t…there would be less than ideal consequences to face. My mother never *had* to physically punish me because I knew she was true to her word and her verbal warnings were more than sufficient.
You see, that is the problem nowadays, there are no consequences and parents find it much easier to blame society and/or the peers of the “problem child” rather than actually taking accountability that they effed up their kid. If your kid is running amuck, not coming home until the wee hours of the morning, missing school, and is in detention more than he/she is in class… YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG! If you are a parent (and by “parent” I mean an actual provider/guardian not just some biological contribution to a human being) it is your responsibility to insure your child knows boundaries, knows the rules, has a moral foundation, and understand that the world does not revolve around them. In fact, they are no more important and/or special than the person sitting directly to their right and left of them (<- this includes all races, backgrounds, and disabilities). When my child(ren) act out, I reprimand her and redirect her by demonstrating the proper thing to do. I enforce a good education early on, I let her know you don’t talk back to anyone older than you, and you don’t interrupt when anyone (regardless of age) is speaking. Does this make me the World’s Best Mother? Absolutely not. Does this show my child that I care enough about her to set boundaries and guidelines for her to abide by? Absolutely.
I see teenagers walking around with LV bags, brand new $150 sneakers, and a whole belt full of technological gadgets…where the hell did they get the money for that stuff and, far more importantly, why do they thing they deserve it?! This is just another factor that contributes to this culture/school of thought. If you ARE NOT working, you are not getting anything other than the basics (with the possibility of a very rare treat here and there). If you ARE working, your money is going into savings. There is zero reason for a young child to be walking around with the same material possessions that a grown adult that works a full-time job and pays taxes is, there is no reason for it. It has become increasingly apparent that kids are no longer humble, no longer appreciate hard work, and no longer understand the value of immaterial things.
All I can hope for is that my children grow to understand their actions will have reactions. If they want negative things to happen, act negatively. If you want positive people and things to come your way, be a positive person. Love others the way you hope to be loved, place value on the things that are important: family & friends, and (above all) treat others according to the morals and values your father and I have instilled in you…even if their parents didn’t care enough about them to do the same. Anyone that knows our "Target story" that happened a few months back with Mia, knows we don't mess around. She acted out and she most certainly faced the consequences and spent the entire night in her room as a result (don't worry, I did feed her dinner that night...in her room!). We have been to Target many times since and she clearly learned her lesson as she has been well-behaved each and every time since "the incident".
The CT shooting story is still developing and the details are gradually being released.. all I know is that whomever did this had to have sent up at least one reg flag at some point along the way. There *had* to be warning signs. Why didn’t anyone care enough to intervene?! No “average” child simply wakes up one day and goes on a killing spree. There is planning involved, there are steps to be taken (in the Columbine shooting, the shooters had been coordinating the logistics of “their plan” for months and had been demonstrating questionable behavior long before actually carrying it out)…where were those that had raised this monster? Were they simply convinced this was someone else’s problem? That it would merely go away on its own?! I cannot grasp any sense out of this entire tragedy and it shakes me to my core whenever I start thinking about it again. I can understand if your child is mentally disturbed and this type of behavior is more 'nature' than 'nurute'. What I cannot understand is why you wouldn't address these problems early and get the child the help he/she is so desperately in need of? If you can't "save" your own child, at least proactively try and save other peoples children from the danger your child can inflict on them.
I am going to leave work now to pick up my girls and give them extra cuddles tonight. My heart breaks for those that cannot do the same. May God grant their families peace during this time and may they get through the awful planning that awaits them during what should be a joyous time of year. I generally do not think God makes mistakes, however, I think one may have slipped by Him this time… :*-(
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